Viewing entries tagged
discipline

Why It Matters Whether You Believe Children Are Born Innocent or Not

Why It Matters Whether You Believe Children Are Born Innocent or Not

Children who are born innocent don’t need God. They don’t need a God to teach them, a Saviour to rescue them, the Spirit to empower them, or the Bible to guide them. They just need everyone to get out of the way and let them be true to themselves. But the Bible says the opposite.

What’s the End Goal of Parenting?

What’s the End Goal of Parenting?

If you’re a parent, you’ll likely spend a good portion of your time on this earth thinking about, caring for, and spending money on your children. They are inevitably the single biggest investment you’ll make in life. How much time have you given to thinking about what you’re actually trying to do for your children? Is your end goal that they’d like you? That they become financially successful? That they be independent? That they be kind, strong, or environmentally conscious? That they be religious? The work of parenting can be so all-consuming that we lose sight of what we’re aiming for. The crises of parenting can be so overwhelming that we forget what we’re trying to accomplish. Opportunities are lost as a result. And later we can regret them. Let me share what I feel is an inadequate end goal that we often settle for and two alternatives I believe God calls us to.

The Gospel Is the Engine Not Just the Key

The Gospel Is the Engine Not Just the Key

Most Christians leave the gospel at the door of the Christian life. They see the good news about Jesus as the key to getting into the Christian life, but then struggle to see how the gospel is also the engine that drives the Christian life. As a result, they end up running on fumes and living the Christian life like a non-Christian.

Tips for Being Slightly Less Angry with Your Children

Tips for Being Slightly Less Angry with Your Children

While some parents treat anger as a discipline strategy, Scripture has convinced me that getting angry at children usually does more to model the parent’s lack of grace than it does to help build grace in children. This article looks at what you can do to be slightly less angry with your children.

Can authority be redeemed?

Can authority be redeemed?

Authority can be used selfishly, arbitrarily, or cruelly. It can also be used for good. The Bible makes a unique contribution to understanding how a leader’s authority should be used. It shows how to use authority by pointing to a shepherd’s two main tools, the rod and the staff.

What Do You Do When Your Child Says, “No!”?

What Do You Do When Your Child Says, “No!”?

The challenges of parenting start early. Most birth stories sound like thrillers, filled with tension, jump scenes, and a piercing soundtrack. After the birth, you have to cope with sleep deprivation and the emotional and often inexplicable crying. The excitement of early accomplishments like crawling, walking, and the first words are often offset by worries of whether those milestones are late, slow, or somehow signals of disadvantage compared to peers or your most vocal relative’s memory of when these things are supposed to happen. And then comes one of the biggest challenges of all: the first time your child responds with a defiant, “No!” What do you do when your child rejects your authority and crosses the line you’ve told them not to cross? Let’s look at two common options and a third alternative that the Bible gives.

Do You Love Your Children Enough to Lead Them?

Do You Love Your Children Enough to Lead Them?

Did you hear the news? Alec and Hilaria Baldwin’s 6-year-old son, Rafael, took a key and scratched his name into the side of their car. Don’t worry, though, according to mom he was “super tough” on himself after it happened, so I’m sure it won’t happen again. I don’t have a bone to pick with the Baldwins’ parenting decisions and certainly not little Rafael. If I were to broadcast some of my early parenting exploits to millions of followers in real-time, I would be embarrassed about plenty of the things that I had done and not done. I do think that Hilaria has powerfully articulated one of the prevailing North American approaches to parental authority, however, and I think that it’s worth comparing with the Bible’s approach.

Don’t Put the Parenting Cart Before the Horse

Don’t Put the Parenting Cart Before the Horse

Most children learn to ride a bicycle by starting with training wheels. If we’re honest, training wheels look a little goofy. Riding with them is clunky at first. And no child wants to be hanging out with their teenage friends with the training wheels still on. But figuring out everything about riding a bike all at once is often too difficult for a child. The training wheels focus the adjustment and help the child get used to the mechanics of steering and pushing the pedals. After they’ve mastered this, they can focus more on balance. With the training wheels off and the basics figured out, a child might even try out some tricks. Starting with the tricks and ignoring the training wheels is a recipe for disaster, though. I think the same is true of parenting. I’m grateful for the advice I was given about paying attention to the various stages of parenting and what to focus on when. Let me share what I feel are the two most important areas to try and get right.