What’s ironic is that you tell yourself you’re making these sacrifices for your child, but the tension in your relationship is actually adding stress to your parenting and anxiety to your children.
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parenting
Children who are born innocent don’t need God. They don’t need a God to teach them, a Saviour to rescue them, the Spirit to empower them, or the Bible to guide them. They just need everyone to get out of the way and let them be true to themselves. But the Bible says the opposite.
When you leave your own culture, you learn things about it. One of the things that I learned about Canadian culture when I moved to Japan is that we don’t seem to place a high value on wisdom. In Canada, we work hard at helping our children learn skills with lots of after-school clubs and activities, but in Japan, proverbs still have a significant place in a child’s development. In kindergarten, our children started learning Japanese proverbs along with the other kids. There are lots of well-made comic books that introduce them to age-old truisms that are recognized across society. In elementary school, children are formally taught proverbs and even tested on them. As a result, children grow with a sense that older generations possess wisdom about how life can be navigated effectively.
As a Christian parent, the greatest desire should be to see your child trust in Christ. But how do you do that? And how do you know what is happening in your child’s faith?
Last time I talked about the importance of learning Proverbs with your children. The problem remains though: how do you teach them? Because there are thirty-one chapters, many advocate reading a chapter every day of the month. There’s probably value in that practice, but with younger children, I’m convinced that less is more. Let me share a few of the things that helped us.
Over the years, we’ve done many different things for family devotions. But learning verses from the Book of Proverbs has been a highlight. I think Proverbs has had the biggest impact of any book of the Bible in helping my parenting and shaping our family’s character. Let me share what I’ve learned about why learning Proverbs with your kids is so helpful.
I was on a road trip with my two sons and something they said led me to share a very personal story. I went into detail about what happened, what I’d learned, and how it had such an impact on me. As I came to the end, I looked over at my sons, half-hoping to see wide-eyed expression of wonder and awe. They were both fast asleep! Communicating with children is hard. Let me share some tips from the Bible about how to speak in a way that reaches your child.
What do you do when your child has disobeyed you or broken your rules? The temptation is to play the part of a sentencing judge. Lying to your sister? Go to your room! Stayed out too late? You’re grounded. If all we do is hand out sentences and demand obedience, there is no good news in our parenting.
These are not easy days to be a parent of young children. Having kids home for summer holidays can be difficult enough to plan for, but the COVID-19 school closures were too sudden to allow for planning and there are no camps to send them to or programs to enrol them in. Educators are doing what they can to provide online learning options and, as a church, we’re working to launch an online children’s ministry for our families. But still, many parents see this time as an opportunity to invest in their children’s faith and discipleship and are looking for tools and resources to help. The best place to start is the Bible itself. There’s nothing that can replace reading the Bible to your children and helping them to read it for themselves. You want to make sure that your children’s Bibles are well worn. But as you do that, you may want to supplement the Bible reading. Let me share what I feel are some of the best free materials available right now to encourage your child’s spiritual growth.
If you’re a parent, you’ll likely spend a good portion of your time on this earth thinking about, caring for, and spending money on your children. They are inevitably the single biggest investment you’ll make in life. How much time have you given to thinking about what you’re actually trying to do for your children? Is your end goal that they’d like you? That they become financially successful? That they be independent? That they be kind, strong, or environmentally conscious? That they be religious? The work of parenting can be so all-consuming that we lose sight of what we’re aiming for. The crises of parenting can be so overwhelming that we forget what we’re trying to accomplish. Opportunities are lost as a result. And later we can regret them. Let me share what I feel is an inadequate end goal that we often settle for and two alternatives I believe God calls us to.