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I missed the whole phenomenon of Duck Dynasty. I was out of the country when it made it’s splash on A&E. I’m not a huge fan of reality television and so I likely would have missed it anyway. And at this point, I’m not about to try and catch up. But I was touched by Kay Robertson’s honesty in recounting the struggles of her early marriage and how Jesus rescued her in the video by “I am Second”. There were three lessons that stood out to me.
On Sunday we looked at some of the gender implications of Genesis 2:18, the verse that says, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” But there were many questions that time did not permit me to answer. Some people assume that the verse is a call to marriage. And Genesis surely does recommend marriage. But Jesus was never married. Did Jesus miss reading Genesis 2:18? Did He believe that “it’s not good for man to be alone?” Was Jesus “not good” in some way because He was single? The answer to those questions sheds important light on what this verse does and doesn’t teach.
What Christian parent hasn’t felt fear that their child will walk away from the faith? And just about everyone knows of a child who has. Some of us know of adult friends who have turned away from God. And while we can sometimes point to triggers and circumstances, in the end we’re usually just left with theories and guesses about what might have happened. That’s why I was grateful to read a summary and review of Tom Bisset’s book, “Why Christian Kids Leave the Faith,” by Tim Challies. Bisset spent eighteen months interviewing people who had been exposed to faith at an early age and later rejected it. He basically asked them two questions: 1. Why did you leave? 2. Was there anything anyone could have done or said that might have made a difference in your decision? While the responses were varied, he cites four trends that emerged.
Most children learn to ride a bicycle by starting with training wheels. If we’re honest, training wheels look a little goofy. Riding with them is clunky at first. And no child wants to be hanging out with their teenage friends with the training wheels still on. But figuring out everything about riding a bike all at once is often too difficult for a child. The training wheels focus the adjustment and help the child get used to the mechanics of steering and pushing the pedals. After they’ve mastered this, they can focus more on balance. With the training wheels off and the basics figured out, a child might even try out some tricks. Starting with the tricks and ignoring the training wheels is a recipe for disaster, though. I think the same is true of parenting. I’m grateful for the advice I was given about paying attention to the various stages of parenting and what to focus on when. Let me share what I feel are the two most important areas to try and get right.
Couples that are dating will often talk about having a great “connection.” But in a survey developed by a doctor in psychology and family science and refined through over 4 million surveys in the last 35 years, there wasn’t a single question about connection.
Wisdom doesn’t just sit on the side of the fence that feels most natural. It maintains a biblical balance especially where it confronts our blind spots. David Murray helps describe this tension: “Patient waiting doesn’t excuse us from teaching, correction, discipline, exhortation, etc., but it does save us from exasperation, exhaustion, and expiration.”
Great marriages take work. And with the challenges to marriage and faithfulness in our society today, that work is probably more needed than ever.
This morning I woke up listening to a podcast interview on marriage with Matt and Lauren Chandler. They’ve gained attention for their book on marriage entitled, “The Mingling of Souls,” and are promoting an upcoming conference that will be offered on-line in February. Several things stood out to me.
This week, GraceAnna Castleberry made waves with her article on “The Dior Woman and True Freedom.” She was commenting on the new commercial from perfume maker Christian Dior. In it, Natalie Portman stars as a runaway bride, who abandons the altar, casts off her white wedding dress, and runs in a black cocktail dress to a nearby cliff where a handsome man is waiting in a helicopter to fly her into the sunset and the “freedom” she craves. The clip is just over a minute long and so we’re left to interpret the details, but Castleberry has a healthy suspicion of its message. She says this:
“Have we really reached a point where freedom is portrayed by such petty play things like a little black dress, a helicopter ride, and a man to kiss but not commit to? Is freedom merely the absence of responsibility? If that’s the definition of freedom, I don’t want it. It has such an achy hollow feel it hurts.”
On Sunday we had a time of dedication for one of our church families. The couple dedicated themselves before God and the church family to train and love and seek their baby's salvation. And we dedicated ourselves before God to love and support their family in their commitments. For me it was an opportunity to think on some of the lessons God has taught me about parenting
